Aside from a brief intermission at Starbucks, it would ten o'clock last night before I had a chance to sit down and unwind. The tech from Lorden oil had just left, so I grabbed my copy of Pnin and headed for the couch.
Big D, my cat, climbed up after me and started kneading the blanket. I hardly paid attention, but then noticed a rather forceful and rhythmic thrusting of his tiny hips.
I picked him up and spun him around.
"Hey little guy," I told him. "Anyway you can not hump my leg right now?"
He turned around and went back at it. I picked him up, and he seemed to smile at me, with woozy eyes. I looked at my leg. He had left me a present.
"Holy shit, you little bastard. You just splooged on my leg. What the fuck!"
My last thought was that I shouldn't tell Jess about the incident, since it would give her days of amusement at my expense, but, sure enough, when we woke up, I couldn't help but to tell her.
"Big D took advantage of you? Do you feel violated?" she asked me, when she could finally regain her composure.
*
My back is out of whack due to lack of exercise, the weather, and work, so I turned over on my side quickly this morning and threw it out.
It's difficult to stand. Difficult to walk down the stairs.
I've had back problems since I was in high school, so this is nothing new. In fact, it's a blessing, since I need to sit on my ass and read and write this weekend.
Big D is with me, sleeping on the cd's that I'm trying to rip to my laptop.
UFC tonight? Still on. Just wish I had a cup of coffee.
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This is gross and hilarious.
ReplyDeleteSucks about your back. My father has a bunch of slipped discs so growing up I'd sometimes come home to find him crawling around on the floor. Glad you're not to that point. Hope you feel better soon!
Billy suggested that my leg is so hairy that Big D thought it was another cat.
ReplyDeleteJess had to inform him that I was wearing jeans. He seemed disappointed. We own theories like we own everything else, and hate to see 'em tossed into the shitheap.
My back is better with age, becaus I'm smarter about how to treat it. In highschool, by the end, the pain was near constant. Now, I hardly notice it, and it's supposedly a degenerative condition. I think I'll hold off on the floor crawling for a few years yet :-)